Belonging
by luridsound
Summary: General Organa has been captured by her son, and Rey sets out to remedy the situation in the name of the rebellion. What happens when Kylo Ren intends more than either of them can justify to themselves?
1. The Exchange

Kylo Ren's arm was around General Organa, the blade of his lightsaber singeing the peach fuzz against her jugular. "We trade on the count of three," he bellowed at the small group of rebels standing opposite the cluster of storm troopers.

As she stood amongst the rebels, Rey's fingers formed a fist, her chin proud and uplifted. There had been so many things leading her to this point in time. Unbidden, the memories flooded back to her.

"One," Kylo's voice rang out through the alterations of his mask.

 _The edges of Maz's eyes crinkled with sympathy. "There's someone who could still come back for you, but that person is not who you think. The belonging you seek is not behind you; it is ahead."_

" _I'm never touching that thing again. I don't want any part of this," Rey cried before she fled. She hadn't asked for the lightsaber to choose her! In that moment, she craved the familiarity of Jakku, anything but this battle against the darkness, this looming big black hole that threatened to swallow her whole._

"Two."

 _The gruff and unshaven fallen hero stared at her with sky blue eyes, seemingly focusing on Rey for the first time since she had arrived on the planet. It was as though he was seeing through her, tapping into some forgotten instinct. Rey might have been nervous at his probing, but she saw something in him that she recognized and honestly opened herself to him. "There is something inside of me that has always been there, and I don't know what to do with it."_

"Three."

" _I can show you the ways of the force," Kylo Ren had promised with his lightsaber pressed against hers. In the palm of his hand, she saw the chance to mean something to someone. It became evident that his chance was contained there too when desperation touched his tone as he hissed, "Join me. Please."_

Rey didn't need to turn to see torment twist Finn's features. She didn't need to hear Chewie's moan of displeasure or Leia's tears to remember them. The faces of those few individuals who had been deeply woven into her life would be emblazoned in her heart forever. Rey strode toward Kylo Ren, entirely ready to face her fate.

Kylo released his prisoner, attempting to replace her with Rey, but Rey spun away from him, lightsaber blazing.

Kylo activated his own lightsaber, assuming a wider stance. Then, he stared at her as he leveled his lightsaber at her head. "Rey, you'll want to come quietly," he warned.

She stood her ground, chin jutting out in defiance.

Giving a war cry, he ran at her. He feinted left and swiped right.

Rey ducked and skillfully parried his next attack. When she lunged to strike, their blades illuminated imperturbable focus across her features.

In the background, the rebels and the storm troopers traded blasts.

Kylo led with his chest as he launched a barrage of wild blows. His dark locks tumbled wildly with his movement.

Rey was lighter on her feet like a dancer as she twirled and swiped with her blade.

They both heard the rebel ship's engines roar to life. In that moment, Rey's arms flew open and her lightsaber landed on the ground as Kylo Ren savagely kicked her in the head with his heel.


	2. Lonliness

_He heard his breath mingling with hers. His eyes slowly shifted from the windows to the presence that had joined him._

 _Rey knelt on the ground facing the opposite direction. She quickly rose to her feet, swiveling around. Their eyes met._

 _Kylo beheld her lovely complexion, her eyes swirling with unnamed emotions._

 _Rey finally spoke. "I thought that after Snoke's death, we would no longer connect."_

" _Evidently not," Kylo growled. He hadn't meant to become incensed. He really hadn't, but when her beautiful face was peering at him from across an unreachable distance, he couldn't help it. His fingers curled into a fist._

 _Rey's eyebrows drew together. It was true that they had not parted on good terms, but he had never been overly harsh in their private talks together. Fearing the worst, she asked, "Ben, what is wrong?"_

" _Don't play dumb! I offered you everything, and you spurned me," he snarled._

 _Of course, Rey realized, his pride was offended, but that wasn't fair. "Ben, I made you the same offer," she uttered gently._

 _He rolled his eyes, deciding that he would have to spell it out. He was unused to explaining himself, and he wouldn't admit it, but he wasn't very good at it. "No, you offered me a place with the rebels. I didn't offer you a place with the First Order; I offered you a place with me."_

 _As his words sunk in, Rey's eyes became wet. She bowed her head, folding in on herself. After several moments, she met his eyes, her own reddened. "You wanted to let everything die. How could I allow that to happen?" she said quietly. "And anyway, aren't you still with the First Order now?"_

 _His expression closed off, and he was quiet for a long moment before he spoke. "If I had you beside me, I would have left. Rey, your fear holds you back, but all across history, the bravest, most controversial things we do and create are the most fruitful."_

 _Her voice became very small. "Leaving behind everyone I love to be with you—that price is just too great."_

 _At this, Kylo's eyes skipped across her features, assessing. Loose curls framed her face and rested sweetly on her glistening brow. He suddenly noticed the dark circles rimming her eyes and her otherwise bedraggled appearance._

 _He quietly released a held breath. "You haven't slept. Why?"_

 _Rey huffed and pushed her hair away from her face. "Because we are at war."_

" _No, no, that isn't why," he realized. "Tell me the truth," he demanded._

" _What?" Rey narrowed her eyes in irritation._

" _It's because you're lonely. You're surrounded by more people than you ever have been, and you're still lonely."_

 _Rey's eyes widened, and she took a step backwards. How was it that when he spoke, it was as though he knew everything about her? It had become difficult for her to breathe._

" _What good are the ones you love if they leave you aching to be understood?"_

 _Navigating the world of the First order had taught Kylo Ren one thing that was essential for his survival: keep the visage of ruthlessness and dominance at all costs. But with Rey, he had no restraint. Against all of his greater instincts, Kylo did something he swore he would never do: he asked again._

" _Come to me," he pleaded._

 _How many times had he asked now? His pride was like a support beam that had crumpled under the weight of her rejections._

 _He took a step toward her. Before she could respond, he intoned, "I am the supreme leader now. You would not have to do anything you did not want to do, and you could help me shape the galaxy to your ideals. Our bond shows us that the will of the force is for us not to be parted any longer!"_

 __ _His slew of words was like slap. It took a moment for her to cry, "Snoke was responsible for the bonding; not the will of the force!"_

 _Kylo slashed his hand through the air in dismissal. "When I learned of you, a female force-user in my age range, you were a ..._ _curiosity_ _." He admitted sharply._

 _Rey's face and neck became hot, believing that she might know what he meant._ __

 _"When you pushed into my mind, everything changed. You were not simply a second-rate force user. You were my equal, which the force had purposefully delivered to me." Kylo approached her. The warmth radiating from his near, towering body and his breath made her feel both stimulated and warmly sedate. He whispered into her ear. "You long for someone to fill your aching loneliness."_ _  
_

 _She couldn't hide the fact that his nearness affected her, his gentle, deep words resonating through her._

 _"But there is no one for you," Kylo murmured suddenly, cruelly twisting her heart. "No man can compete with your wield of the force; no man knows your most secret desires. What man could accept that your destiny is not decided by you but by the force alone? I am the only man who could ever truly understand you."_ __

 _Rey closed her eyes in pain and conflict against the reason in his words. When she opened her eyes, her gaze searched his face._

 _"You feel it too. You are not so innocent that you thought of me only as someone to be saved and forgot that I am a man."_ _He wanted her to admit it. No more toying with words. He wanted to hear her say that she knew how he meant for her to be with him._

 __ _Rey had not forgotten that Kylo was male. She had tried to forget, but it wasn't the same as truly being blind to his magnetism._ __

 _"You long for guidance and, again, we are matched as my experience is greater than yours."_ __

 _At his reference to experience, heat roared to life at Rey's cheeks and neck. It was enough to break the spell. He disappeared from her view, leaving her to gasp in frenzied confliction. She had stayed far too long, long enough for her to question the resolve in her heart._


	3. A New Hidden Truth

Rey half-listened as argument rumbled throughout the room. Her eyes were glued to the hologram, which was paused on a shot of the face of General Organa and the masked visage of Kylo Ren.

No twenty minutes beforehand, an exhausted-looking and slightly sweaty rebellion officer had burst into the strategy meeting announcing, "A transmission is coming in!" When there were no objections, she immediately set the hologram to begin playing on the main screen.

The voice through Kylo Ren's robotic mask rang throughout the room, "In exchange for the hostage, I demand Rey, the force-sensitive girl."

"Where is the First Order broadcasting this from?" inquired the lead officer as the room continued to watch Kylo Ren.

"A single ship, it appears," the communications officer replied.

"Who in the First Order approved this deal? How could this be advantageous to them?" one of the strategists queried.

"Well, it was clearly approved by the Supreme Leader," an analyst gathered. "Whether or not it is a good move political move for the First Order."

"Rey is not some bargaining chip!" Finn was quick to interject in defense of Rey. "This proposal is out of the question! C'mon Rey. Let's get you out of here," Finn said, protectively pulling on her arm.

"He's never going to stop," Rey said. The words falling from her lips. Something inside of her telling her to say them, a plan forming.

"What Rey?"

"He doesn't have the Knights of Ren anymore," Rey explained. "He's not going to stop coming after me until he has me in his back pocket. Besides, General Organa is much more important to the rebellion than I am. Not only is her expertise irreplaceable, she also attracts people to our cause."

"Rey, what are you saying?" Finn said, refusing to see her point.

"I'll do it."

An irate refutation trilled from Chewie's lips.

The dissent went on for half an hour. Finally, the rebellion leadership settled on the course of action that they knew was the only viable plan for the survival of the rebellion.

Finn's denial remained evident until the next evening when he caught Rey. He was accompanied by Poe Dameron, Rose, and Chewie at his side. The three of them were beaming with optimism.

"You're not doing this without me to break you out," Finn promised, a gutsy grin spreading across his face.

"Yeah, I'll bet that we can get you outta there, no problem," Poe assured, high in spirits and with good reason given that not one of his so-called hair-brained ideas had failed yet.

Rey offered a brittle smile, overwhelmed by the love that her friends offered her as she embraced them.

A medical droid woke Rey, and she allowed her wounds to be tended. She barely had the conscious worry that she was on a first order ship before she drifted back to sleep.

Rey awoke in a bed of blue satin. _Escape,_ she thought. Rey carefully slid herself from the bed. She was immediately awed by the magnificence of the chamber so unlike the austerity she knew. Tentatively, Rey stepped through the room, investigating the luxurious surroundings, at first highly uncomfortable. She found that she was impressed by the opulence, and her mind turned to Kylo Ren and his part in all of this.

Rey lurched out of her musings about the room like a cat out of hell. He had wanted to use the grandeur he could provide to impress her, to woo her to the dark side, to make her forget everything she believed in.

Rey investigated high and low on the four walls of the room and inside the facilities through a door. Through the second door, she discovered living quarters and someone in the kitchen.

The blue female turned toward Rey. "You are awake. Welcome, Mistress. My name is Kira, and I am here to assist you with anything you need." Rey's suspicion diminished as the woman continued to stare at Rey good-naturedly. "Are you hungry?"

Rey felt a stab of hunger. "Yes," she said sheepishly. "I am."

"Allow me to fetch food. I can deliver it to you in the dining room if you wish."

"Yes," Rey agreed. Then she supposed she might as well ask, "Is there an exit from these chambers?"

"Why yes," Kira said pointing to a door off the living area, "but it is locked. Even I do not know how to unlock it."

Rey was immediately attempting to use the force move it. After several minutes, she returned to searching for exits and later inquiring to Kira about them again.

Rey found a second bedroom with a restroom of its own decorated exclusively in black like the rest of the quarters. She took a break to snack and chat with Kira who suggested that Rey wash up.

Rey went to change her clothes into something dry, but she was accosted by the horrid thought that there could be a camera in this room that Kylo Ren had designed specifically for her. She didn't even feel comfortable using the toilet. She sank to her knees, feeling ill. Eventually, Rey overcame this sick thought, stepping into the relaxation of the fresher. 

When she finished, Rey found her clothes had been disposed of to her chagrin, and in their place was a choice of three full length gowns. She was enraged by the suggestive attire available to her. She began to look around the apartment even about to open the door of the wardrobe in the other sleeping chamber before the fear in Kira's eyes made her reconsider.

"Please, Mistress," Kira pleaded with her.

After half an hour of enraged ranting, Rey finally decided on the most innocuous of the three gowns: a white Grecian-style ensemble that hung from her shoulders with a revealing neckline and a slit that went high up the leg. Kira helped her into the altogether too feminine undergarments, having the knowledge of how to work the brassier with its mysterious clasp.

Kira had Rey sit in front of a vanity mirror to work at her hair. The woman's hands were gentle as she brushed through Rey's hair and pinned it up into a bun with some curls loose to fall about her ears. As she listened to Kira's humming, Rey began to relax.

There was a hiss as Kylo Ren released the helmet from his head. He scrubbed his hand over his face and through his hair, taking long slow breaths. Looking down, Kylo planted his feet on the floor. Then he lifted his chest.

The door slid to the side revealing the dark knight Kylo Ren framed in the entryway. Rey stood from her seat on the settee. As the door closed behind him, their eyes traveled over each other speculatively.

It had been months since they had been in each other's presence. The wounds they had inflicted on each other during their last battle and their last moment speaking through the bond was heavy in the room, but so was the bond itself, singing happily through the air like wind.

Rey felt exhilarated to be so near him, yet uncertain of how they would proceed with one another. It felt tense when he hadn't spoken, and she didn't know how she would be received.

Kylo deposited his helmet and his gloves at a table along the wall. He drew near to her, towering over her small figure. He searched her face. "You look lovely," he said, his voice deep and piercing.

Rey cursed him for always being so confident, even as she was completely thrown by his compliment. She flinched as he held out his palm to her. "Join me for dinner."

Rey simply stared at his hand. He held it out for a beat longer before his mouth scrunched into a frown. He grasped her by the upper arm in a bruising grip, forcefully pulling her to the table. They both gasped as the bond gusted through them. The intimacy of touch was mind-reeling in person, but it felt unnatural when it was so casual and unanticipated. Rey struggled to keep up with his quick, long strides, and he quickly released her to slide into her chair. Her annoyance at his actions was drowned out by her hunger.

He took his own seat adjacent to hers, gesturing to her plate before he positioned his cutlery and began cutting into his own food. Was he really not going to explain? "Why am I here having dinner with you instead of in a cell?" Rey bit out.

At that, Kylo paused, lifting the napkin from his lap to wipe his mouth, and placed it on the table. His eyes fixated on hers. "You think that I would want you locked away in a cell?" he said, sending a nauseating whisper through her body like a warning. "No, I want something else entirely."

What he wanted was the question she could not ask, her throat dry as his eyes drilled into hers, a sense of danger seeping into her belly.

After a moment of tense silence, Kylo Ren said, "Take down your hair."

Before she had fully registered the request, Rey found her fingers slowly reaching up to pull the clip from her head, releasing her tresses.

Kylo's expression hardened as he took a breath, straightening in his chair.

Rey had to do something to relieve the pressure building in the room. "I don't appreciate the attire that you've provided for me."

Kylo's eyes surveyed her, deliberately leaving her gaze to dip into her neckline. "You are adjusting well if you are complaining about your wardrobe."

Rey frowned at the notion that she needed to adjust to her circumstances.

Then Kylo Ren was all indulgence as he said, "Tell me what displeases you about the clothing."

She pursed her lips in indignation at the familiarity he showed and the triviality of the conversation, regretting initiating the subject. "I prefer pants and more modest clothing."

"I think," he said, again letting his eyes roam before returning to hers, "you are quite clothed enough."

A heady wave swam over her as he opened the wine bottle and filled her glass and then his.

What was happening here? Where was the man she had spoken with countless times and whose motivations she more or less understood? How had he changed so much now that she was there with him? Rey knew him as the man who looked her in the eye and told her the truth. Even in his new behavior, she sensed that he was conveying some truth to her, but it made her uncomfortable even though she didn't entirely hate it. Mostly, she just didn't understand it.

"You think to woo me to the dark side with kindness and pretty clothes," she accused in frustration. "I will not be bought!"

He reeled back. There was a violence in the air as he clenched his teeth together, showing the hard hollows around his mouth. "I will show you a certain amount of leniency, but I will not tolerate insolence."

Rey stood swiftly, baring her teeth. This was the confrontation she had expected.

Kylo struggled to work himself down from his temper. "Perhaps that is enough for tonight. Kira, you will prepare Rey to retire. Then you are dismissed."

Suddenly, Kira was alongside the table. "Yes, Master," she said with a bow, quickly deescalating the situation by leading Rey into her bedroom. Rey was left with a view of Kylo Ren sitting alone at the dining table, his thumb and index finger massaging his forehead.


End file.
